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The UK’s Single and Downloads Reviewed

ROX – Rocksteady

Roxanne Tataei (Rox) is a half Iranian, half Jamaican Cockney girl who makes soul music like it is the early 1960s. She was also at (cringe) the Brit performing art school, which housed the talents(?) of Leona Lewis, Adele, Kate Nash and Amy Winehouse etc. She has a powerful, humdinger of a voice, and is very likely to get compared to Winehouse and Adele by lazy journalists.

Who does she sound like? Well, Winehouse and Adele. But this is more the sound that Winehouse has been searching for while she soaked up St. Lucia’s sun and alcohol resources! This is fun, chilled-out reggae. Back In Black? Nah this is more like ‘Back In Colour’. We suspect Winehouse might be slightly envious of this little tune if she wasn’t too busy with dodgy gentlemen.

FEEDER – Renegades

Renegades was the name of the little side-project of duo Grant Nicholas and Takashi Hirose, you know – those blokes from fairly dull Britpop-esque band, Feeder, that were a yawn-enducing Welsh version of Ash.

Yes, this sounds like everything else they have ever done. The video finds men in suits and Feeder’s own band members being attacked by a topless woman in a balaclava. This perhaps explains why the video has been watched at the Electric Banana HQ over 468 times! But we have awarded this a decent 3 out of 5 because it is quite a good rollicking rock song…but we refuse to award it 4 stars just because the video features uncovered nips.

GOLDFRAPP – Believer

The original girl/boy electro-pop act (hello La Roux) finds the girl (Alison) in optimistic mode on Believer, proclaiming to be a believer in cupid etc and pining for the return of a lover.

Sadly EVERY week a single needs to be reviewed that has been ‘Frapped up’ with Goldfrapp’s electro-influence. This is a nice pop song that is as instant and catchy as most of their disco inspired recent output. But we are getting a bit fed up with all this electro stuff. We are believers in guitars and we are pining for their return.

ORIANTHI – According To You

Orianthi Panagaris is a confusingly named Australian (g’day mate) bit of hot totty, singer-songwriter and guitarist. She was first known for being set to be Michael Jackson’s lead guitarist for his comeback concert series, This Is It.

According To You may be the cheesiest song in the history of the world. It sounds like Pink with a hint of Slash bubbling under the surface, who appears to be venturing into horrible 1980s axe-overdrive.This is one for the Pink-adoring female crowd, but for those of us who can urinate while standing up might get a cheap thrill by watching the video.

THE SCRIPT – For The First Time

The Script are an Irish band that your dear old mum probably likes when she hears them on Heart FM. For example, their Wikipedia page states “The band has always made public their love for sauces, in particular green pesto, which they often talk about in interviews.” We bet mothers love these saucy guys!

Stuck firmly in Snow Patrol and Coldplay territory, this is so safe that I pressume that this was recorded by the band with them wearing crash helmets, bullet-proof vests, their fave vests and oven gloves. Why has it got ‘Explicit’ warnings? God knows. If you find out, then please let us know! But who is that girl in the video you ask? Well, that is Bono’s daughter Eve Hewson – who is a handy (see cover) friend to have.

JUSTIN BIEBER – U Smile

Ahhh Justin Bieber. The young “heart-throb” is a mixture of Jackson 5-era Michael Jackson, Mmm-Bop-era Hanson, and no pubes.

Mentioning the name ‘Justin Bieber’ online can cause rational individuals to become wild with rage…so please don’t don’t strike your computer screens and please take deep breaths and try and regain your composure. All sorted? Good. Yes, this is soppy and utter garbage, but we all look back at when we were 16 with embarrassment don’t we? So, just let the young whippersnappers grow out of it without getting your knickers in a twist!

ALESHA DIXON – Little Drummer

This is sadly not a cover of the brillant (and bizarre) Christmas duet between David Bowie and Bing Crosby (Peace On Earth/Little Drummer Boy), but disappointingly the comeback single from the former Mis-Teeq singer and Strictly Come Dancing judge.

Little Drummer obviously features a bit of drums…with an almost military drum-beat to the song. It does improve with each listen and the chorus is pretty good, but Electric Banana actually prefers the cool soothing harmonies of Bing and Bowie getting all festive – which is maybe a contender for the best Xmas song of all-time.

McFLY – Party Girl

Abject. Appalling. Bad. Contemptible. Corrupt. Degenerate. Depraved. Despicable. Dirty. Disgraceful. Disgusting. Evil. Filthy. Foul. Horrid. Humiliating. Ignoble. Immoral. Impure. Loathsome. Low. Miserable. Nasty. Nauseating. Nefarious. Noxious. Perverted. Repellent. Repugnant. Repulsive. Revolting. Shocking. Sickening. Sinful. Sleazy. Stinking. Vile. Vulgar. Worthless.

We apologise, but we were forced to remove all the swear words – despite the song causing an explosion of deep rage within our souls. But you get the general idea of our opinions of the McFly boys don’t you? Gits.

About the Author

Electric banana reviews the latest singles released this week and all the latest album reviews!

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